How Not to Treat Your Child
My children suffered too long
My adult son is gay. I’ve known even before he knew. I never tried to sway him one way or the other. My only concern was for how society would treat him. I didn’t want him hurt by the cruelty of society. Unfortunately, I failed to protect him from the person who should have been the one there for him.
I recently watched Palmer with Justin Timberlake and the little boy reminded me so much of my son it brought tears to my eyes. If you have a chance to watch it it is a very touching movie.
I bought him the dolls he wanted. I let him play dress up, usually, he was a mermaid or some other female character from his favorite Disney movies. He was always very artsy and loves music. As he got older I let him choose his look and style. I let him use my eyeliner. I let him dye his hair blue or green or whatever he wanted. I tried hard to let him be who he wanted to be or at least try to figure out who he wanted to be in life.
I remember one occasion I had taken him to get a haircut. I LET HIM CHOOSE how he wanted to cut it. He was so excited because he got it cut similar to one of his favorite singers (think Emo bands from the 2000s). Many times we would take my parents with us so my mom could get a haircut as well. Everyone complimented his new look. My mom was as excited for him as he was to get that haircut. It was a great afternoon.
The first thing his father said to me when we got home was, “Why did you let him do that to his hair? He looks ridiculous.” My son and my parents heard him. My response was to him “It’s just hair. That’s the wonderful thing about hair it grows and can be changed.”
This was one of the only times my father spoke up and said something to my ex-husband.
It was too late though the damage was done. This was just one of many occasions that my ex-husband hurt our son by being mentally abusive. I know I wasn’t an angel or the Mother of the Year but I should have removed my son from that environment. He hasn’t spoken to his father since October of 2015 when he moved out.
I have very few real regrets in my life, but the main regret I have is that I stayed married for so long. The damage that my children suffered is a price they never should have paid.
This is how not to treat your children. They need reassurance, love, and guidance. They need protection. I failed.
